Dubbo police officer Mark Meredith has seen a lot during a career spanning almost three decades in the police force.
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But nothing could prepare him for the events of November 19 last year when his 24-year-old son Perry was found dead at his home.
He left behind a large group of friends as well as a family that includes parents Mark and Liz, siblings Jarryd and Kendell, grandparents Pat and Jill Meredith, and Barry and Mary Perry, as well as uncles, aunts, cousins and his beloved niece Ruby, the daughter of Kendell and her husband Josh Lawson.
Now, more than three months after the tragedy, Mark and his wife Liz have bravely spoken on behalf of their family to thank the community which stood by them during their darkest days.
“We just can’t believe the love and support we’ve had from everyone, it’s just overwhelming and amazing,” Liz said.
“It’s been quite overwhelming, and it makes us pretty proud as his Mum and Dad to see how well-respected and loved, and how missed, he is, It just blows you away.
“Most of the time you have a funeral, people come to the wake and they have to move on with their own lives.
“But it’s been constant, there is always someone dropping in.”
“That’s the biggest thing. You can ask a million questions and do it forever and a day but we’ll never get the answers, not the one’s we’re after.”
Mark echoed his wife’s sentiments, saying love and companionship had been the thing that helped the family through the depths of their despair.
“So many people have been wonderful. If we had to sit down and write to them all it would take forever and we wouldn’t want to forget anyone,” he said.
“The rugby league family has been amazing, Dubbo has been amazing, my police family has been amazing, our close family, friends, and it’s ongoing.
“People say ‘you’re such a strong family’, but we’re only that because of the support and love we’ve been shown.
“Without the love and support I don’t think we would have got through it to be honest, because there’s been some bad days.”
Bad days have been common over the past three months or so, in fact they have almost been the norm.
But with them comes further examples of how much their youngest child meant to so many, and a small glimmer of light is beginning to emerge at the end of the tunnel.
“It’s been over three months now, and the old cliches come out and people say time heals,” Mark said.
“Time doesn’t heal but what happens is you actually come to the realisation you have to live with it. It’s a reality check.
“Kendell put up a beautiful photo of Perry on Instagram the other day and put a caption saying ‘you can come back now, if only it was as easy as that’.”
Liz added “Jarryd put it well. He said ‘all Perry’s mates, that’s our Perry now. We can watch them fall in love, have families and celebrate that. Those boys are our Perry now’.
“We’ll be grateful to everyone for the rest of our lives. Words really can’t describe it.
“We just want to say thank you for all the unconditional love and support.
“It feels like it will last forever and I hope it is the case because we will miss him forever.”
Looking back to that fateful day in November, even a family hardened by Mark’s profession couldn’t prepare for what was about to happen.
But they are determined to push forward as best they can – their analogy being “let’s keep climbing the ladder”.
”I remember when Mark came and told me me it was happening,” Liz said.
“And he walked in the door and I was like ‘no, you don’t do this to me’. He looked at me and I said ‘no, you don’t tell me this’.”
Mark takes up the story.
“I’ll never forget that day as long as I live. Nearly 30 years in police and nothing prepares or trains you for that.
“To go through a career, you’re not unscathed, you departmentalise things and tuck them away in your subconscious.
“But to deal with your own child, I can’t describe that. How do you process that?
“Then to come back and see my wife, Pez’s mum, Pez’s sister, Pez’s brother, Pez’s family. How do you cope with that? How do you explain that?
“That’s the biggest thing. You can ask a million questions and do it forever and a day but we’ll never get the answers, not the one’s we’re after.”
Every milestone that has come and gone since November 19 has been bitter-sweet for the family.
But Christmas Day, a day that promised to be one of the toughest, became one of celebration when Kendell gave birth to daughter Maggie, a sister for Ruby.
“I remember Kendell wasn’t due until December 27 and I said ‘don’t be surprised if she has the baby on Christmas day’,” Liz said.
“And then it happened. I could hear Perry saying ‘what’s your problem, you’ve got a new baby granddaughter’.
“It’s something only he would think to arrange.
“We’re lucky though. We still have two great children, two wonderful grandchildren, and we will take Perry and his memories on the journey with us for the rest of our lives.
“We’ll keep climbing that ladder, and even though the top will never look the same we have to keep striving to get there. We have to for Jarryd and Kendell, and for the rest of our family as well.”