It’s a good place for Bathurstians to escape during the middle of the year – as a couple of Parade’s mates did recently – but it has its own quirks and customs.

One of those mates, who only returned this week from the Sunshine State, was telling Parade how he had a trip to the hospital when he was up north.

The doctor, after the introductions, quickly became unusually brusque, challenging and confronting Parade’s mate each time he tried to explain what it was that was ailing him, to the point that Parade’s mate finally got frustrated and felt he had to say something.

“I’m not trying to start a fight,” he said to the doctor, trying to be delicate, “but I have to say that you do things very, very differently up here in Queensland compared with NSW.”

The doctor paused, smiled and looked Parade’s mate in the eye. “Like actually managing to win the occasional State of Origin series?” he asked.

Who would have thought you’d get sledged in a hospital room?

THE magpies are gathering at Parade’s house.

There were always a couple of them, but they seem to have called in reinforcements in recent weeks and now there are at least half a dozen keeping a beady eye on Parade and his significant other each time they are in the front or back yard.

“I don’t like the way they’re looking at me,” Parade’s significant other said the other day. “I get the feeling they’re sizing me up, deciding whether I can defend myself, and I don’t think I can take them all on if they swoop at once.”

Parade assured his significant other her fears were unfounded, but he can’t deny the humans are now significantly outnumbered by the birds.

With the countdown on to spring, Parade hopes peace between the species can be maintained.

It would be a shame – and it would also be hideously expensive – to have to move out until the trouble had passed.