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The decision to divorce does not come easily, but unfortunately, as hard as it is to get to that point, there are more difficult issues which will need addressing once you have agreed to split.
Even in the fortunate situation where separation is amicable, it is wise to recognise that the change you are about to embark upon will bring it's own challenges and stresses.
Divorce is an emotional time, not only for the couple, but for friends and family as well. Often, this can make it difficult to clear your head and address immediate issues.
The Australian Securities and Investments Commission's Moneysmart website is a great site to visit when you are at the beginning of your journey. It provides practical information for each stage of the divorce process.
Moneysmart offers these tips:
Close off your joint accounts. Establish your own bank account and ensure your pay goes into that account.
Do a financial stocktake: Get prepared. List all your assets, and any debts or joint debts in your name.
Record your turning points: Note the dates of your separation. You can use this when you apply for a divorce as proof that you have been separated for at least 12 months.
Cancel your redraw facility: Talk to your bank to cancel any redraw facility on your home loan to make sure your debts don't grow.
Update your rental agreement: If your name is on the lease then you are liable for any unpaid rent or damage caused by your partner.
Update your utility bills: Again, if your name is on the account then you are liable for any unpaid bills.
Seek legal advice: Speak to a solicitor about separating property held in joint names, taking legal action, if property is held in your partner's name, to prevent it being sold before the property settlement, and to update your will.
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And don't forget to deal with splitting your superannuation, after all it is a security blanket of sorts for your future and should be included in your asset pool.
As well as addressing the practical, it is valuable to know that you can also reach out for emotional support during this time. Speaking with counsellors at any stage of the separation process is beneficial.
It can be helpful for you or your partner as individuals, or together. It can also be useful for children, providing them with a safe space to ask questions and express their emotions.
Service providers such as Relationship Australia can help, offering a Family Dispute Resolution service, where trained and experienced staff help couples talk to one another, manage their way through their issues and identify acceptable solutions.